Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Plagiarism: the Passion of the Nugent

I've pulled this from the Nugent Online Experience: The Circle of Trust.

Damo set up a RIVAL student newspaper where we were at artschool together, and he hired a tux and broght a slab to my nuptials, and he converted me to Johnny Cash, so I gotta lot of respect for the guy. I'm trying to fix my comments section - so please feel free to try and post any comments below, or let me know if you wanna sign up for the circle of trust!

The Passion of the Nugent - a true story of endurance, stamina and dollars through three days of Rock, Races, Rugby requiring repeated elbow exercises.

Lo behold, on the Friday evening the Nugent did attend the public house where he imbibed with the one whose surname is Josephs. Thereupon they fixed on attending a concert and under a brilliant full moon did taxi cross the bridge to Milsons Point. There The Darkness came over Luna Park and Black Sabbath T-shirts did abound and all man called each other dude. And dude did they rock! And the Nugent and Josephs ascended above the gathered throng to the bar whereupon they consumed VB from cans and the mosh pit was awash with fans and the lead singer Justin Hawkins did astride a bouncer's shoulders and move through the crowd playing his guitar. And there was much screaming and the people cried "Darkness! Darkness! Darkness!" And the soaring falsetto did raise the roof. Thereafter the Nugent and Josephs traversed to the afterparty at Ruby Rabbits, whereupon two young policemen with nothing better to do, closed things down just before the band arrived as it was Good Friday and due Sydney's antiquated licensing laws they decided to roll up the footpath at midnight. And the Nugent said "Forgive them for they know not what they do." And the nightclub was empty and nothing was open and a great sadness fell upon the land.

On the second day, the Nugent arose early, watching Rage, enjoying immensely the Kanye West video before being collected by the one called Donnelly in a taxi, thereby making it to Royal Randwick at the eleventh hour in time for the first race and acquiring a table on the grass in the members. And Sydney was bathed in beautiful Autumn light and Randwick was packed with fifty thousand punters and alcohol did flow like water. And the Nugent and disciples sat in the sun pretending to be Sydney's wealthiest people despite him only having one win. And the Nugent said "Whose shout on the wine and beer? Buy this round in memory of me." Thereupon, with the last race over the party decamped to the Paddington Inn, wherefore more amber fluid was consumed in accordance with the Online Experience that states; "Excess is the minimisation of moderation". Later the Nugent did find himself doing shots and still later he was arguing with some clown about international geopolitics and so he did initiate the homing sequence at an ungodly hour and descended to his mattress in what became known as the harrowing of the blanket show.

On the third day, the Nugent rose again and was telephoned by Donnelly saying he was in Darlinghurst still going strong. So the Nugent cabbed it to thy Gaslight and Donnelly in yesterday's suit sans necktie was a mess. Describing a mysterious third man, and with eyelids drooping, Donnelly maintained an ethereal trance. So the Nugent did put two vodka red bulls in him, one cup of coffee and some beers. Henceforth they revisited the Paddington Inn to rendezvous with all and sundry by the fifth hour. There they did play pool, although Donnelly was hopeless and the Nugent was forced to move the balls around in supernatural fashion to keep the table. Acquiring Phelan and later the Tan Man, the group departed for the Rugby. And the game was good and the evening very pleasant. And Donnelly did sleep. As the Brumbies fans grew quiet it became necessary to offer repeated verbal interjections deriding their journey home through smog filled M5 tunnel and much mirth was enjoyed by all. And the Waratahs soundly trounced the Brumbies. Then the assembled walked to the Gaslight where more beer was consumed and new people talked to and everyone danced to MC Hammer. Some point after midnight the bar did shut. The Nugent then moved onto the Courthouse with freshly acquired friends who at his instigation, began waltzing around the Judgement Bar. And soon everyone was dancing. Until the besuited goons who spend all day gymning decided too much fun was being had and put an end to the mischief. Upon the cock crowing three times the Nugent did vouchsafe a cab fare home for thirty pieces of silver and he was mentally and physically exhausted and slept. And scripture stating he would attend the Rock, Races and Rugby all within three days was fulfilled. And there was much rejoicing.

Nugent Online Experience - The Circle of Trust

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