I have just had a week with the flu.
Its a great moment to dwell on all things gross like the snot that pulled form my nose that made me feel like Arlene's Board Game "Gooey Loui". A veritbale snake of blu-tack right on George Street too. Yum Yum
Now that you're feeling queasy non francophones can brace yourselves for the translated version of that long poem in frenhc that I posted a few weeks ago. Its by Lautreamont aka Isador Ducasse aka the umbrella dude from the surrealists (they got the umbrella sewing machine line from him).
Really, I haven't read anything weider than that poem. - so check out this bit below.
I am filthy
Fleas gnaw at me.
When pigs see me, they vomit.
The scabs and scars of leprosy scale my skin, covered in a yellowing pus.
I know not the water of rivers or the dew of clouds
On my neck, an enormous fungal growth spreads its stalky clusters like mushrooms in compost,
Resting on a makeshift seat, I haven't moved in four centuries.
My feet have taken root in the ground and form a sort of living vegetaion running up to my stocmach.
Composed of ignoble parasites this growth is not quite vegetable, but is no longer flesh.
And yet my heart beats.
But how wold it beat if not for the bare nourishment of the pestilential fumes and exhalations of my cadaver? (I can no longer call it a body)
Under my left armpit a family of toads has taken up residence.
Each time one of them moves it tickles me.
Take care one of them doesn't escape.
They can use their mouth to scratch at the inside of your ear and enter your brain.
Under my right armpit a chameleon, in perpetual chase of the toads, awaits, so as not to die of hunger. Everyone needs to live.
When they tire of their games with each other these creatures can find nothing better than to annoy me and suck the delicate grease which covers my scabs. I'm getting used to it.
An evil snake has devoured my penis and occupies its place.
This infamous creature has made me a eunuch.
Oh! If only I could have defended myself with my paralysed arms!
But I rather fear they have turned into logs.
It is evident that blood no longer comes to show its redness in these parts.
Two little hedgehogs refusing to grow have taken the inside of my testicles
And thrown them to a dog, which didn't refuse.
They have lodged themselves within the carefully washed skin of my scrotum.
My anus has been intercepted by a crab.
Encouraged by my inertia it guards the entrance with its pincers and causes me quite a bit of pain!
Two man of war jelly fish, traversing the seas, were drawn by a hope that was not in vain.
They regarded attentively the two fleshy parts which form the human posterior and then firmly attached themselves to the convex orbs.
form is now being crushed by the constant pressure of suction and the two morsels of flesh have almost entirely dissappeared.
Meanwhile two monsters have emerged from the region of viscosity that is equalled in colour, fomr and ferocity.
Don't speak of my spine since it is a double edged sword.
You want to know how it found itself verticaly implanted in my kidneys?
Myself I don't recall clearly.............