Banality of Grief

This is brief.
It's sunny, heating up to 32 degrees.

I'm indoors, skulking.

Mucus clogs my lungs, my nose, my head
is fuzzy
throat dry
eyes bleary and thick

Is this what happens when I forget to cry?

sitting slowly
stupidly
wrapping up precious nothings in tissue and bubble wrap

coughing

stacking my archives
the professional library
years of typing, reading, rereading,
squinting at enlightenment on photocopied A4
No, I don't want to forget

my mind is fuzzy
I don't want to make or dance or sing
just slowly breathe through the changes all around me